NonViolent Communication
Posted on Mar 20th, 2006
by 
Wil
Wil
I went to a workshop on NonViolent Communication and the Compassionate Classroom.
Twas a great experience learning how we think and act and how it affects others. Often though when discussing the 'needs' of a student who was disruptive or habitually late in my head I heard the critism of 'conventional' thinking, "Oh this is just some more namby pamby new age crap, where we have to adjust for the trouble makers"
And then I realized I was sitting there making up stories, conflicts which didn't actually yet exist. And then the co-author Sura Hart paraphrased something from Thich Nhat Hanh, which I am paraphrasing again, "If you were to go out to your garden and the roses or lettuce were wilted, would you yell 'Bad Lettuce, Bad Roses!!, Go to your corner, time out...' or would you look at them access and address their needs?' Powerful stuff.
She also shared a number of Marshallisms (after Marshall Rosenberg the founder of the Center for NonViolent Communication) I've gotta get a copy of some of his books, incredible information....2 much to post it all here now.
We just got a teaser, we only had a few hours with her, not her 3 day workshop, she didn't have the time to give us the whole picture, but it was phenomal learning how we speak and how it affects others, take some time at the above sites, take a look at the valuable books, as a parent, as anyone who works with or talks with kids....you'll realize your words affect the rest of their lives...take charge of what you are saying!
Are you like me and find that it is in the periphery, in the pool, at the bar, in social situations before and after the conference meetings and keynotes that you get tremendous added benefit? Well I got what I consider two great new pieces to the puzzle of life.
Gleaning - Volunteer acivists going into farms after the famers either manually or with machines have picked their fields....harvesting the remainder of the produce and providing it to shelters and food banks. I've never heard about this before! AWESOME CONCEPT!
Eliminate Triangulation- Now I've understood this concept before, but never heard the word. When you and I discuss anyhing about another (you, me +1=3) we are triangulating, And either of us needs to mention, 'Let's eliminate triangulation, you goto the person which you have issues with...and solve it there" Don't traingulate, don't tell me about your issues with someone....go solve them...it seems eliminating triangulation eliminates gossip before it has a chance to start.
Another piece of the puzzle...anytime you have to fill our a form that asks for your race....under other write-in HUMAN!
Oh, and Sura has worked with a preacher in Costa Rica who is on a mission to take nonviolient communication and the compassionate classroom to every school, every classroom in Costa Rica, is that cool or what? Can you imagine how easy it will be as the training and empathy to feed the needs of the students increases...how much more time the teachers will have to teach and how much more the kids will be able to have fun learning...I'm sitting back and dreaming... If you know a teacher that would like to incorporate some of this in her work pleas pass on the link to Kindle-Hart Communication.
Great weekend, great people, powerful stuff.
Twas a great experience learning how we think and act and how it affects others. Often though when discussing the 'needs' of a student who was disruptive or habitually late in my head I heard the critism of 'conventional' thinking, "Oh this is just some more namby pamby new age crap, where we have to adjust for the trouble makers"
And then I realized I was sitting there making up stories, conflicts which didn't actually yet exist. And then the co-author Sura Hart paraphrased something from Thich Nhat Hanh, which I am paraphrasing again, "If you were to go out to your garden and the roses or lettuce were wilted, would you yell 'Bad Lettuce, Bad Roses!!, Go to your corner, time out...' or would you look at them access and address their needs?' Powerful stuff.
She also shared a number of Marshallisms (after Marshall Rosenberg the founder of the Center for NonViolent Communication) I've gotta get a copy of some of his books, incredible information....2 much to post it all here now.
We just got a teaser, we only had a few hours with her, not her 3 day workshop, she didn't have the time to give us the whole picture, but it was phenomal learning how we speak and how it affects others, take some time at the above sites, take a look at the valuable books, as a parent, as anyone who works with or talks with kids....you'll realize your words affect the rest of their lives...take charge of what you are saying!
Are you like me and find that it is in the periphery, in the pool, at the bar, in social situations before and after the conference meetings and keynotes that you get tremendous added benefit? Well I got what I consider two great new pieces to the puzzle of life.
Gleaning - Volunteer acivists going into farms after the famers either manually or with machines have picked their fields....harvesting the remainder of the produce and providing it to shelters and food banks. I've never heard about this before! AWESOME CONCEPT!
Eliminate Triangulation- Now I've understood this concept before, but never heard the word. When you and I discuss anyhing about another (you, me +1=3) we are triangulating, And either of us needs to mention, 'Let's eliminate triangulation, you goto the person which you have issues with...and solve it there" Don't traingulate, don't tell me about your issues with someone....go solve them...it seems eliminating triangulation eliminates gossip before it has a chance to start.
Another piece of the puzzle...anytime you have to fill our a form that asks for your race....under other write-in HUMAN!
Oh, and Sura has worked with a preacher in Costa Rica who is on a mission to take nonviolient communication and the compassionate classroom to every school, every classroom in Costa Rica, is that cool or what? Can you imagine how easy it will be as the training and empathy to feed the needs of the students increases...how much more time the teachers will have to teach and how much more the kids will be able to have fun learning...I'm sitting back and dreaming... If you know a teacher that would like to incorporate some of this in her work pleas pass on the link to Kindle-Hart Communication.
Great weekend, great people, powerful stuff.
Access: PublicTagged with: children, love, NonViolent Communication, Sura Hart, Compassionate Classroom, gleaning, triangulation
children
June 2008
AWESOME post!! simple answers… intense solutions!
Great topic and great practice. Words are indeed powerful and can imprint lasting effects..kids are especially vulerable..I used to work in a daycare and kids are intelligent beings. I had worked with a young 5 yr old boy was was quite out of control and when things did not please him..hyperactive..he would throw tantrums and chairs. We sometimes got carried away and had to shout so he can hear us. One day, he asked why do we have to shout at him. It hit me then that It is better to use a softer approach so then on..I tried to speak out of loving kindness. He was my worse and best of experiences. We both became closer and his attitude towards me was more trusting.
Ya, If I imagine the case to be a full grown adult..it can be a scary relationship. I believe that people who are somewhat similar grew up in an environment that did not allow them to learn social skills, or allow their goodness to grow.
Gleaning seems awesome like the word! Physical exercise is great and doing it as a community encourages a strong bond and connection between people as we build a sense of togetherness and sharing the gifts of life: food.
Great stuffs..thanks for sharing wil
Centuries ago in bible, there was a law given unto the Israelites from God to allow those with less to glean their fields. And the owners of fields where also asked to not gather up everything to the last grain, in order to leave something to be gleaned. Twas a nice lesson I learned years ago. Practicing such now would definitely help feed millions who grapple with hunger.
Endhunger.org is in harmony with it. Very cool.
I heard just this week that the gleaners program in Oregon, gives coupons to the low-income elderly every year, so they can shop for fresh local greens throughout the summer. Nice.